On the Anvil

Zeitgeist
Citius,Altius,Fortius
Banderaazzi

Tuesday, April 15, 2008

CELLf Realization

Disclaimer by VJ:
No. This incident has not been sponsored – monetarily or otherwise, by the various telecom hand set/ service providers. Nor is to endorse any of their products or services. A quick recap of telecom ads, jargon and cell phone features is suggested before you 'login' to this narrative. Go on; discover thy ‘Cell’f.


By ‘configuration’, we are RAW (Recovery Agent Whackos). We provide….. ‘music on demand’. We ‘snap our fingers’ and demand the payments. If the demands are not met, we let the parties face the music.

By ‘build’, we are Baddies. Tough skinned, mean looks and all. Our attitude sports the ‘wallpaper’ of the cross boned skull.

That was our ‘profile’ until………………
Until, into the ‘inbox’ of our existence arrived an experience as an ‘SMS’:
A message of CELLf realization


I remember, as part of the Baddies gang, were on ‘roaming’ – exploring through a bike expedition, the hitherto unexplored regions of the Himalayas. ‘Top Ups’, we called them; mountains and peaks we targeted for their sheer inaccessibility and toughness. Reaching a ‘top up’ really provided our ‘systems’ a well deserved ‘recharge’. On one such ‘go to’ attempt, damn Mr. Fate decided to ‘activate’ my disaster ‘account’. Serving as a rear-guard sentinel, my bike skidded on the slippery ice and thanks to these ‘graphics’; I lost ‘contacts’ with my ‘pack’, the rest of my gang. The ‘radio’ and the ‘GPS’ onboard too conked off. So in that Himalayan ‘gallery’ I lay alone……….a wreck amidst the wreck.

“Get up, get up, my son”
I must have fainted, ‘memory’ blanked, conscious ‘put on hold’, ‘number not reachable’ until this Old Man woke me up with this ‘alarm’. At his feet, stood proudly wagging its tail, flapping its ears, a cute ‘pug’. The Old Man had a ‘tower’ of a personality. As I ‘unlocked’ the ‘keypad’ of my vision and took a look around, I realized I was in a completely different ‘circle’. As my mind’s ‘cam’ played ‘back’ the ‘video clips’ of the accident ‘recordings’, I knew this was not the accident ‘site’. Now, this Old Man, was quite a ‘talker’, a platinum ‘user’.
I had no idea of his ‘talk plans’. But our ‘talk time’ came to be my ‘cellf’realization. Neither ‘pre-paid’ nor ‘post paid’, all free and ‘unsolicited’, so much so that I promptly wanted to list him with the ‘Do Not Call Registry’. However, he seemed to have established his ‘network’ all over my neurons. Any thought I had and he promptly divined the intent, detected the ‘signal’.

“You have escaped grievous injury. But you are a winner of the ‘meet-me’ ‘contest’, and hence you are here.” The Old Man said by way of stipulating the 'terms and conditions'.

“What…….the accident was a jackpot to meet this crackpot?!!!”
I was ‘vibrating’ with fury inside. You must remember here that though I come packaged in the violent mode, thanks to the accident, here I was left no ‘option’ but to ‘subscribe’ to the ‘silent mode’. I was hurt in my gums and hence couldn’t ‘talk’.

“Hey…….I am not a crack-pot”.
Boy, this old fella really had darn good ‘coverage’ over my thoughts and here he was sending me this ‘alert’!!!! From here on, my ears were on automatic ‘stereo widening’ mode and I just let him have his ‘say’. It was all one way ‘traffic’.

First, he rubbed my wounds with a white cloth that soon was dominated by a red-hued ‘theme’. Blood red as in ‘infra red’. Then noticing my gums, he referred to the cold and said I had a ‘blue-tooth’ and instantly offered me ‘black-berries’. A few ‘mega-bytes’ later, I experienced an ‘enhancement’, feeling almost no pain.

“Who are you?” I questioned his ‘ID’ by way of gestures.

“Well……..you belong to the '.com' generation. I will converse with you in your ‘language’. You are a RAW, isn’t it? You do that recovery stuff, don’t you? Help recover lots of valuable stuff. But you forget to recover the most important and valuable stuff.”

I wore that ‘sorry, wrong number’ look. The Old Man began turning up the ‘volume’ and switched to ‘speed dial tone’ emphasizing urgency.

“I will help you recover……….yourself. I am your ‘PDA’ (Personal Discovery Assistant). Here is my ‘offering’. Avail my ‘service’.”

Again, my face would have suggested a ‘this is not a valid number’ ‘image’. For immediately, he helped me onto my feet and led me into the lake shore amidst the scenic ‘settings’.

And even as I looked into the lake’s clear waters, LCD (Liquid Crystal Display), the Old Man did some tinkering, treating the water surface almost as a ‘touch screen’. Immediately, on the ‘menu’ of the reflection came for a ‘view’, a ‘countdown’. You know that 10, 9, 8, 7…..2, 1 count off in a black and white circle. Following that began ‘play’ of scenes from my ‘collection’ of childhood memories. I immediately was held captive. I got ‘engaged’.

Me as a lad, helping a blind man cross the road with his ‘hand-set’ on mine. Stealing mangoes, yet sharing even the last one with hungry friends without ‘book marking’ even one for myself. Serving as an ‘organizer’, sharing my ‘notes’ with that dear little classmate who always happened to be at the ‘receiving end’ of everybody’s humor. And then the ‘spam’………incidents of betrayal, inflicted cruelty that ‘hacked’ into my system, ‘clearing the cache’ one by one of all my ‘folders’ of goodness……………………….


Clap
'Exit' the show.Switch of ‘application’. The ‘demo’ was now over.

“You know life does play ‘games’ with you. And there are certain times -tough situations, tougher and rougher people. You feel life really ties your hands & you bloody hell wish you had your ‘hands free’.”……..the Old Man ‘pinged’.

“But at such times, you gottu think out-of-the-box. Have to think out-of- this-box.You have this box, ‘built in’ by ‘default’”……Don’t forget the BOX………Suddenly it all went ‘dead’.

Slurp….whouoop….laapurp……….
As I opened my eyes from sleep, ‘switching on’ my waking state in my ‘home’; to my most pleasant surprise I noticed a most welcome ‘pop-up’. This wonderfully cute…….. pug. It was wagging its tail, flapping its ears and ‘uploading’ its salivated love onto my face. Gently, it dentally ‘selected’ my right hand’s pajama sleeve and guided me to a ‘packet’ I was sure had some ‘data’ relevant to me. And sure enough……….it had this ‘reminder’ from the Old Man in my dream in the form of a letter:

Dear Baddie,

Here, where I am, the ‘air tells’ ‘express yourself’. They say over here, ‘barriers break when people talk’. At the outset, I understand you are angry for me so abruptly vanishing. I guess I must have at least bid you ‘Tata’ to set you ‘in the calm’. I guess I became a bit ‘busy’. It may all seem quite ‘phony’ to begin with, but you gottu take me on my words, give them full face value and place ‘reliance’ on them. I suggest you ‘think hatke’ here as you will then realize that this Old Man’s talk is far from the gibberish and what he has is ‘best hai mere liye’. Now about the BOX, we were talking about. Your ‘search’ for the answer ends here. The ‘password’ to the puzzle is ‘magic box’. Just whisper, ‘magic box’ twice in the pug’s ear and it will guide you to its location.

(On doing as instructed, the pug places its paws on my heart).

Yes, my dear. The heart is the MAGIC BOX.
Hear that.
Lab dab.Lab dab.
Life’s ‘ring tone’.
Love’s ‘caller tune’.
IM’ good, its ‘dial tone’.
Think out-of-this-box. FEEL out-of-this-box. As long as you are tuned here, you can ‘go wherever, do whatever’. ‘Wherever you go, this network (read – the Old Man) will always follow you.’ In every tough situation, you will receive ‘unmatched coverage’ and discern this ‘unbreakable bond’. Rest assured, this offer comes with‘lifetime validity’. Go on, unleash its magic.
Make the most of now’.
Share from the magic box, all your love.
Here’s how:
Drop a line’.
Touch your heart,
Feel its ‘ring’
‘Key’ in the target,
Place your ‘call’
Make the ‘connection’
Let love ‘mobile’
Let it go ‘live’
Live its ‘buzz’
All this done
‘Say with pride……….hello’

This is CELLf realization. The univerCELL truth. It all really is that SIMple.

Logging off,
(:)ld Man.

PS: A ‘pug’nacious fella like you deserves the ‘pug’.

Thanks, Old Man.
SIMply put…………………….’What an Idea’.

I can't but 'channel' my 'credit' to him for lending 'balance' to my life:
"You and I, in this beautiful world.
Green grass, blue sky..........in this beautiful world."

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